this hat

the 2012 presidential election (sigh)

your cell phone plan

Arnold Schwarzenegger

what anyone “really has a passion for”

how much you love Target

how much better _____ is than Starbucks

 

Facebook privacy settings

the details of any church building project or capital campaign

Viagra

how much better Saturday Night Live used to be

prayer in schools

Obama’s birth certificate

your crazy night at the bar

Harold Camping


What are you tired of hearing about?

Filed under: fun, lists Tagged: Facebook, harold camping, obama, princess beatrice, saturday night live, Starbucks, Target

Why churches must add an extra “e” to their names.

Owning a ferret.

The point of PO boxes at my post office. When I receive a package they refuse to accept it.

Driving across town to save $0.02 a gallon on gas.

Graffiti. You’re making your own neighborhood uglier.

Why scantily-dressed women with names like “AriannaVerySexy” find it strategic to follow me on Twitter.

Green tea. It tastes like grass.


Stretch hummers.

Churches offering “Christian sympathy.” Is there some other kind? What makes it different?

Why my grocery store sells ping pong balls.

Why they are displayed by the paper towels.

Death metal.




This. (Hat tip to my buddy Todd who found it.)

Filed under: fun, lists, opinions, things I don't understand Tagged: crosspointe, lifepointe, mime, rapture, riverpointe, Twitter

Tomorrow I leave for ten glorious days traveling around France and Germany with my friend Bree.


Things I will do:

–admire the Sacre Coeur

–glide down the Seine in a Bateau Moche

–temporarily forgo vegetarianism

–shuffle through the crowd to see the Mona Lisa


–take the opportunity to say something about “flying buttresses” at Notre Dame


–feel light-headed at the top of the Eiffel Tower

–buy a tacky souvenir from a museum about East Germany

–tour the catacombs beneath Paris

–walk down the Champs-Elysees at night, missing my boyfriend

–be disgusted by at least one hostel bathroom

–eat something that ends in “wurst”


–try to sleep on an overnight train

–be left speechless by Dachau

–ride a bike through Berlin

–visit a castle

–gain weight


Things I will NOT do:

Work.

Filed under: fun, lists Tagged: berlin, munich, paris, travel

Die Badewanne ist verstopft. (The bathtub is clogged.)

Gibt es auch ein Luftkissenboot? (Is there also a hovercraft?)

Ich will mein Tanzbein schwingen. (I want to shake my dancing legs.)

Gibt es ein FKK Strandbad in dieser Gegent? (Is there a nudist beach in this area?)

Fuhren Sie Unterwasche aus naturlichen Fasern?  (Do you carry underwear made of natural fibers?)

Mehr Haarspray. (More hairspray.)

Ich habe mir an harten Nussen einen Zahn Ausgebissen. (I broke a tooth on hard nuts.)

Ich bin einem Nervenzusammenbruch nahe. (I’m close to a nervous breakdown.)

Ich bin Auslaender. Aber ich bin nicht dumm. (I’m a foreigner. But I’m not stupid.)

Filed under: fun, lists Tagged: europe, German, travel

“Steven Tyler really has some insightful comments on American Idol, doesn’t he?”

“Actually, I’ve been looking for a reason to move to North Dakota.”

“Sure, let’s pierce that.”

“Do you have to kill the mouse?”

“I don’t know, running a marathon might be fun.”

“It’s fine that your dog barks all night—I’m just glad he’s happy.”

“Told you I’m a good bowler.”

“This pinot is lush and unctuous….I’m getting hints of cherry and currants with confident fruit-forward flavor notes that capture the soul of the soil.”

“The movie was better.”

“Shhhh…..football’s on.”

“Really wish I could gain a few pounds.”

“Palin 2012!”

“Of course you can take the whole Bible literally.”

“It’s been three days—guess it’s time for a shower.”


“Well, that’s what I think, but then I’m just a girl.”

Filed under: fun, life, lists, opinions Tagged: American Idol, Palin, Steven Tyler