My life is completely about me.

It’s an occupational hazard of being single and childless; from spending my time to spending my money, I rarely have to consider anyone else. I even work at home, so I “miss” the conflicts and compromises of office life.

This can be fun, of course (yes, that was me buying a $4 peppermint mocha on Saturday) but it can also create a very self-centered existence. One way God grows our character and maturity is through living in a family or community; although I have lots of friends, I don’t have a daily responsibility to sacrifice for someone else, and I’m probably worse off for it.


So this year I’m participating in Restore Community Church‘s “Big Give.” I heard about the project when interviewing church leaders about their Christmas outreach plans for a future Buzz. (Read all about it in the December 19 issue.) Restore’s “20 for 20″ challenge seemed like the perfect way to intentionally think about others this Christmas.

On Sunday, the church asked members to give a gift to someone—money or time, pricey or not—each day from December 6-25 and share the stories on the Big Give Facebook page.

Yesterday I began by donating $20 to buy a Bible for someone in the CCSI program; in future days I plan to donate to some local causes, randomly pay for other peoples’ $4 coffees, sing carols at a Salvation Army kettle with friends, and just stay open to what opportunities each day brings.

In fact, I’m torn between keeping these to myself (because the only thing less attractive than self-centeredness is regaling others with tales of your sporadic generosity) and sharing them (because the only thing more fun than helping other people is reliving it with a good story).


So how about this: join me!

If you start today, your 20 days will end on the 26th, and it’s high time we began observing Boxing Day in this country, anyway. Then share your stories here and on Restore’s site.

I can’t wait to hear how you bless your neighborhood and your city this month. Or even your office. Now there’s a big give.

Filed under: giving & giving back, resources, RM Tagged: big give, CCSI, Christmas, Restore Community Church

Here are some startling statistics: Americans spend $450 billion each Christmas, lack of clean water kills more people every day than any other cause, and the worldwide water crisis could be solved for just $10 billion.

Starting with those facts, the Advent Conspiracy movement encourages people to spend time with loved ones instead of purchasing gifts and to give that money away in the name of Christ. AC partners with Living Water International to dig wells and provide clean water in Africa, India, and South America, and churches across the country are collecting special offerings this month to benefit Living Water.


Here are some more numbers to get your attention: the amount of money spent just on candy, during just three months of the year, is more than the annual budgets of The American Cancer Society, The American Heart Association, and Habitat for Humanity combined. Redefine Christmas doesn’t ask you to stop all gift-giving or redirect your candy money toward clean water (although it does add a whole second layer of guilt to that Snickers bar, doesn’t it?). Instead, they urge you to give to family, friends, and charitable causes at the same time by donating to organizations reflecting the interests and passions of the recipient.

For instance, Jen Gherardi, a Christian Standard reader who wrote to tell me about Redefine Christmas, suggests you honor the parent or grandparent who read you countless bedtime stories with a donation to First Book or another charity dedicated to improving literacy and providing books to needy children. Your sister who loves to cook might be touched with a donation in her name to a ministry dedicated to alleviating hunger, your animal-loving brother would appreciate a gift to the ASPCA, and your best friend who adores So You Think You Can Dance could enjoy knowing you made a gift to the Alvin Ailey Dance Foundation.

(If enough of us gave to that, these reality shows might eventually go off the air—and that’s what they mean by a gift that keeps on giving, folks.)


Redefine Christmas provides links to all these groups and hundreds more and provides a personalized card for you to announce each gift. You can also purchase gift cards for the recipient who might enjoy choosing her own charity and “gift baskets” with assortments of charities united by a topic like mentoring children, planting trees, or working for peace. The site even offers ecards for you to request donations to your own favorite organization in lieu of gifts for yourself.

My family stopped giving gifts to each other a few years ago. While I’d like to say this decision was driven by philanthropy, the more pressing reasons were the cost of buying them and the hassle of schlepping them around the country. (A holiday tip: If you ever have the opportunity to check a bag and fly the red-eye at 12:00 a.m. on Christmas Eve from LAX to Cincinnati, just……don’t.)

But it’s not too late to redirect some Christmas dollars toward improving the world, and this year I plan to join the conspiracy and redefine my Christmas by giving to a worthy cause. I may start with Alvin Ailey.

Filed under: giving & giving back, resources Tagged: Advent Conspiracy, American Cancer Society, American Heart Association, charity, Christmas giving, First Book, Habitat for Humanity, Living Water International, reality TV, Redefine Christmas

This week I speed-read a book about a new ministry in Africa in preparation for a phone interview with the founder. The book detailed the poverty and misery in Africa: children sniffing bostik (a mixture of gasoline and glue) to drug themselves long enough to forget being raped twice that day. Entire families destroyed by AIDS, buried in the yard while grandparents care for the surviving grandchildren—all HIV positive. The days without food, the months without clean water.

I read it while sipping a coffee from Starbucks, wearing clothes from Ann Taylor Loft, making notes on a Macbook and surfing Amazon to buy a new copy of “To Kill a Mockingbird” to read for my book club. That was when I decided it was time to revisit this post.

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Moving day, more than any other day, makes you keenly aware of how much junk you really own.

On Saturday my mom and dad and some good friends helped me (finally) move into my new house, a process that involved carrying roughly 3,267 boxes of stuff plus two couches, three chairs, a desk, four bookshelves, an iron bed frame and the heaviest dining room table ever made. As I do every time I move (this was the fifth one in eleven years), I found myself amazed at how much I’ve accumulated—14 antique china place settings and three matching salad plates (Grandma was prone to dropping things). Dozens of books I fully intend to read. Half-used hair products. Barbie dolls with complete outfits. The original packaging for Standard’s 1984 VBS craft kit featuring my smiling face.


So, some seriously good stuff.

And I wondered again, for at least the fifth time, if it’s wrong to have so much when most of the world has so little.

I’ve written about this before, and reading a blog post by Steve Denney stirred up the same questions. He quotes from Peter Singer, who asserts that while all of us would rush into a pond to save a drowning toddler without hesitating to worry about ruining our nice shoes, many of us struggle to metaphorically “wade in” and help save the 10 million children under five who die from poverty each year.

“Prompted by the pages of Singer’s book, it just seems wrong that I buy bottled water when I can get it from the tap,” Steve writes. “That I waste money on coffee. That I throw away food that I cannot eat (or don’t want to eat).”


I’m reminded of Schindler’s List, when the war ends and Oskar Schindler realizes every belonging he kept—each ring, each car, each suit—could have rescued another Jew from the death camps. When I watch that movie I condemn him; of course he should have sold the gold ring and flashy car to save more people. When lives are at stake, shouldn’t someone give all he can?

Steve’s point is people still die, and we face the same choices. Shouldn’t we give all we can?

But if I get rid of everything, I’ll be poor and others will have to take care of me. So that’s not the answer. Do I keep just enough to live on and give away the rest? Define “live on”—what does that include? Rice and beans and a vitamin pill, or can I have steak and ice cream occasionally? How often? Yes, coffee IS a necessity, but how about soda? One a week?

What about health insurance and retirement savings? I trust God to take care of me, but often He does that by allowing me to plan responsibly. Is it a sin to live modestly yet keep megabucks in my IRA?

The real question is when “enough” becomes excess. We all spend money on non-essentials, and it’s easy to judge others. Some could see my move as an acquisitional move up, although my new mortgage payment is actually less than my rent and in many ways this purchase was about good stewardship. On the other hand, a few of my friends recently sold their own houses, downsized to rentals or condos, and gave the difference to causes they care about.


Like Steve, I have become increasingly aware of just how much money I waste. But with each passing year, each passing move, I also become convinced this is one more gray area in a faith we often prefer black and white. Enough becomes too much when it becomes more important than obedience to Christ, and He asks each of us to sacrifice in different ways. I’m glad He hasn’t asked me to give up coffee yet.

Filed under: giving & giving back, life, opinions Tagged: Africa, AIDS, bostik, giving, moving, peter singer, Schindler, steve denney, stewardship, VBS

Some things have changed since I first posted this.

Louie the cat has gone to the great mouse hunting grounds in the sky, I’ve stopped with the meat completely, and I purchased (terrible, covers-nothing) health insurance. I still sponsor Eko through Compassion and I added a boy named Kelvin, who just turned five and sends me pictures of cows and has trouble writing the N in his name.


But other things remain the same. (Believe me, the mid-30s are no time to start skimping on moisturizer.)

How about you? What do you spend money on, and what does that say (good or otherwise) about your priorities?

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This past week I not only paid my 2006 federal and state taxes, but also paid the first quarterly installment of my self-employment taxes for 2007. I’d known since last winter that this April was coming and had been saving accordingly, so it was okay to write the checks. (Well, as okay as it can be when one’s money is going for this.)

But it got me thinking about how I spend my money, and wondering how it compares to other people. Obviously it’s a personal issue, and it varies considerably depending on one’s age, health, marital status, number of kids, interests, etc.


Other than taxes and giving to your local church—both of which I hope are part of your regular routine—how else do you allocate your funds? What are you willing to spend money on and what aren’t you?

And when I say “spend money on,” I mean where do you a) invest in necessities at a higher price or (presumably) better quality or b) budget for and purchase non-necessities and splurges?


I’ll start.

I spend money on antioxidants and endorphins: organic food, yoga classes, and good moisturizers. Ironically I don’t spend money (right now) for health insurance.

I spend money to sponsor a boy named Eko in Indonesia through Compassion International but I don’t buy fund-raising products from kids selling them door to door.

I spend money on plane tickets and travel but not day-to-day transportation; I expect my cars to last at least a few years after they’re paid off and I drove the last one until the engine threatened to fall out the bottom and lay smoking on Highway 5 in San Diego.

I don’t spend money on jewelry (that’s for a nice boy to do someday) or jeans (hello, Goodwill) but I’ve been known to spend money on other things to wear. I spend money on coffee beans and the occasional nice meal out. I don’t spend money on paper towels, cleaning products, or dry cleaning. (Vinegar and water cleans everything, and if I can’t machine wash it I don’t need it. If I could find a way to dryclean things with vinegar, I’d be in heaven.)

I don’t spend money on meat for me (I don’t like it) or high-quality food for my cat (who’s going to throw it up on my carpet later anyway).

I spend money on a carpet cleaner.

I spend money on DVD rentals but not cable. I spend money on haircuts but not shampoo. I love live music, but I never spend money on concerts, and I’m not sure why.

I suspect your buying patterns are the same combination of intentional and completely contradictory. What do you spend money on?

Filed under: giving & giving back, life, opinions Tagged: Compassion International, giving, insurance, money, spending, taxes

This post brought to you by Facebook and a flood.

My friend Amy recently wrote, “Jen, I would love to read your thoughts on this: if we live happily and comfortably, should we be thankful to God for it or should we be on red alert because it probably means we’re not sacrificing enough? And I’m not talking about being ‘rich,’ per se, I’m talking about simple stuff like having a refrigerator and clean water and an extra set of sheets and towels and more than one pair of underwear…that sort of thing. I never know if I should be joyful or nervous when I realize I’m comfortable and happy…!”

And then Nashville received almost 14 inches of rain in two days, flooding streets, destroying homes and businesses, and killing 18 people. Suddenly it did seem only the luckiest had extra towels and uncontaminated water.

And I got to thinking about “stuff,” and the things we say about stuff.

How many of the following have you heard?

1. “Compared to 95% of the world’s population we are ALL rich, just by being born in this country.”

2. “It’s not wrong to have money, it’s about the condition of your heart and what you do with the money.”

3. “The person who dies with the most toys still dies.”

4. “He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.” – Jim Elliot

It’s true we have won the global lottery just by being Americans, especially those of us who are white middle-class Americans. Should we feel guilty for that?

It’s true that love of money, not the money itself, causes many evils. But rich is relative; if I shop for secondhand clothes before lunch out with friends and my sister buys clothes at the mall but packs her lunch, who’s a “better steward”? And how do I know if my heart is right?

It’s true we can’t take it with us. But God put me on the planet—is it so wrong to want a few vacations and a food processor?

It’s true our treasures in heaven vastly surpass our treasures here. But is anyone else in the universe as spiritual as Jim Elliot was?


Discussions of money and our faith often raise more questions than they answer, because—like so many things—we want black and white answers, and—like so many things—the answers are as muddy as the Cumberland River water swamping downtown Nashville. The problem is the fall affected this aspect of our natures just as it warped every other part of us, so something God created as good—sharing and giving—now includes guilt and manipulation and comparison.

As my dad once wryly observed, if we give all our money away to care for the poor, we’ll be poor and people will have to take care of us. (By the way, my dad is one of the most generous people I know.)

On the other extreme, What Jesus Would Not Do is spend more on iTunes downloads and Diet Coke than he gives away.

So what’s the answer?

Well, Amy, since you asked, here’s my opinion: God asks us to give 10%, which may not have been hard for Jim Elliot but which I hate. And that’s as much black and white as he gives us. Beyond that, we ask him if we’re doing enough and if we’re doing the right things. We keep asking, every week or every month, and obey the best we can.

And no, you should not feel guilty about being happy or having more than you need. Guilt is not helpful. Instead, let the gratitude for these blessings prompt you to do more so that others can also have a warm place to sleep, dry clothes, enough food. Keep asking God to let you know if you should do something else, or something more specific like giving time, and be prepared to not always like his answer. Keep asking God for humility, too, so that when you sponsor a child in Africa or volunteer at a soup kitchen it remains a gift to God, not a cause for pride. And then, if you and God are at peace about your checkbook and your motives, be at peace. Enjoy a week at the beach with your family or a vanilla latte or a new sweater and thank God for the blessing.


And if you want to help Nashville, click here.

Filed under: giving & giving back, God, opinions Tagged: flood 2010, giving, guilt, Jim Elliot, money, nashville, stewardship, tithing